You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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