I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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