I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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