Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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