Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
