go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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