One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Alive.
So much puke
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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