how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
