Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize