at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
