2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
