You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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