We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
