so explain again why im purple
no
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
