She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
