Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
