are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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