Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
