Porn is love you can see.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this beer tastes like vomit already
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
