I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
