Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
