worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
