i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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