I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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