Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wear drunk well.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
