oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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