if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
