Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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