Already got asked if we're dating
Quick, to the slutcave!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
