no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
