u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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