wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
