when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
