I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
