i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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