we're chasing vodka with high fives
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my being single is dangerous.
vagina is talking i cant
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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