so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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