wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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