I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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