she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
