After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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