Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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