do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
