Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize