you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
