On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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