i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
