Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
