just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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