Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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