Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
