Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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