I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize