Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
