I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize