I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
