I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
