so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
