I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will be naked everywhere
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
