Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Enjoy the penises
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
