I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
