there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
