can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize